she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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