There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
