Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
