and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Houston, we have a blender
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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