You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
