my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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