You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
