I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish i was in the wii world.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Randomize
