You're my little dorito
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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