you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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