So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Such a big mess for such a small penis
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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