I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
