haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All the doctor said was why
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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