i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize