; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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