so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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