If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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