Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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