I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
