Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize