Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
