I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
