Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize