Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
