smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
