Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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