soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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