Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize