Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
