she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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