i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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