what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
