she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the day after is always just damage control
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
