At least make sure they are 18
Why
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
