my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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