So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
