I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
