Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
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