I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Houston, we have a blender
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
