so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
