he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My vagina is very pro this idea
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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