You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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