totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize