He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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