i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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