Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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