So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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