I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
