I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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