Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
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Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize