Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize