dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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