I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
