I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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