see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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